Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
