dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
