think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize