this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
