this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
