Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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