I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
