Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
