Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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