dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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