Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
