Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
