It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
