girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Randomize
