Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
