i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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