he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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