Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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