I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
