No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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