No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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