can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
how drunk are you?
Several
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
