I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
She announced her abortion via fbk
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
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