Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I want to make a zoo with you.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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