I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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