new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
