the condom got lost in my hair
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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