i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
