Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
