Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
