Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
