there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
