dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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