wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
A bitchslap is in order.
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