So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
She's the barista slut.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
