FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You have to summon your inner elephant
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Randomize
