He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
