OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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