why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
