Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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