yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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