Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
