sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
