bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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