I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
The best revenge is premature balding
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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