What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
