I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
