he was CRYING into my vagina
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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