Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
