We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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