Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
