she looked like the bat from fern gully.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
