Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
