he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
