this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Congratulations! We have a period
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