So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
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