ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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