I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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